Cookie Monster :D

2010-12-14T20:17:00.000-08:00

Oh wow! It is really dead! hahaha

The last post seems to be more than a year ago 0.0 Hm....
Dont really have an audience anyway. I guess I'll just write when I like and what I like. Maybe its just for me. One BIG thing i realised is that holidays make me dumb><>

The List!

1. Paint my room!
This has been on my mind for ages! Like really! I am not kidding! However, the state that my room seems to be worse. Floor un-swept, bed covers not changed and clothes everywhere. I guess the first step to actually want to paint my room is to pack it. Maybe I'll do it after Im done typing this post.^^

2. BAKE
I love the thought of having ingredients like flour and sugar in big glass jars like the ones that look like cookie jars=) Like how cool will that be when you see a shelf of glass jars! Perhaps I should also get a whole range of measuering cup and spoons. Not to mention books and books of receipe. The very thing that is missing, is an oven.><

My God is enough♥

Maybe not

2009-09-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

Seems like it has really been very long since i wrote anything. For some reason, i find a need to write about things here. It kinda release all the tension inside of me. Talk about all the tension, it is so much more than i could imagine having.><

Haiz.. Must it matter to me so much? Why can't i go through all of it like its nothing much. And the reson why seems to be always revolving around the same thing. I guess its just me.

Looking back at all the things, I realise that I have really changed. I'm not as cheerful and optismitic as before. Maybe that's why i have been keeping things to myself all this while. The door between me and the ouside world seem to be closed. Not that nothing of the world worries me, but whatever that concerns me never got out of that door. Even i myself dont know what I am thinking.

Am i trying hard enough? Or all this while it shouldn't be this way at all? Will I ever get an answer for these questions?

2009-06-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

Looks like i almost forgotten that i have blog. Life is starting to slow down. Kind of what i always hoped. Everything use to just pass by so quickly, no time to reflect or even to think what to do next. Tried many ways to learn how to slow it down. Like sitting down and quieten down but i always fail and end up watching television. I constantly ask myself what is the reason in doing this. Have I forget who am I suppose to live for? All this while I'm on the centre stage. If i decide to do this or not, first come to mind is whether it benefit me, whether it makes me happy. What happen to whether it is right or wrong? For months, I am living for myself. Just a sunday christian as what other people call it. Things that involves God will have to wait till its sunday. But that entire day I don't concentrate on Him. Maybe that is the problem all this while. I am neglecting God. Even when i do my quiet time or listen during sunday school, I don't feel God speaking to me at all.

I presume that I really forgot how much He loved me, how much He was willing to pay just to save me even though I'm not worthy. He was by my side all this while.

i'm confused

2009-05-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

WOW!!!! My blog is like seriously dead, and people are bugging to update. Guess I've been really busy with studies. Then again, I didn't really study. Yes I do have the books and notes in front of me but I just can't understand a thing of what's on the paper. For some reason I still assume that I'm dumb and gave up halfway. The thing is I don't run off and do something like on-ing the computer or watch television. Guess what will i end up doing... STONE

I really can't understand why, but that's just it. Every time i take out something to revise on, i would just stare at the paper, and my mind is blank. Its like your eyes are looking at things, but your mind can't process it so you'll just see BLANK.

Today

Frisbee training started this morning. Even my knees aren't at all fit to run but i kind of have no choice. It still hurt even when I'm walking. So whats the difference if i run. Anyway maybe in future I'm not able to do what i love most. Haiz..

I really don't know what I'm doing now. And now my mood is kind of becoming more extreme. In a way like when something is making me sad, i don't feel it. I just know that I'm suppose to be sad and I'll just behave like I'm sad. But in actual fact I don't feel anything inside. It is like action with no thought at all. Now I feel like I'm some programmed robot.

This morning wasn't a very pleasant one. Maybe I'm just not a nice person at all. Things do get the better of me.

Furthermore, I am going through everyday depending on my own strength. There I go again! It really annoys me and i can't stop doing it. It is like something i do unknowingly. Haven't been reading the bible for quite a long while. Can't have any excuses to say that I'm busy or what so ever. I always forget, like why isn't it bothering me that I'm not reading the bible and doing quiet time!!! I just guess that I am really weak. REALLY REALLY WEAK!

I'm so limited. Having a boundary of everything that I'm able to overcome, and yet i still depend on myself. STUPID ME!! Isn't it easier to reply on someone stronger who have control over all things?

I guess the thing that i wrote above is just scolding myself.

FOOD

Tomorrow is Vivian's birthday. Happy Birthday to you!!!

Celebrated her birthday today at the BREEKS. The food that they serve is really nice. It has been a while since i ate nice western food. I had something like baked rice with chicken cutlets and curry. Weird combination huh... But it taste GOOD... The lasagne's is like even better then the one at pizza's hut.(of all the lasagne's i ate like from 3 places i prefer pizza's hut). Vivian had salmon on hot plate. For once i did not eat salmon that is over cooked. So happy! I sort of realised that Wilson have lame jokes up his sleeves. Haha

Timothy, Petra and Daniel were there too. But I can't remember what they ate. Oops. XD

Now this part of the day is nice and funny. Haha

B! There's many reason why i would actually not talk to you straight after training ended. I was really tired, didn't have much sleep. Kind of waited for you to call the whole night yesterday. kind of decided to go online to see whether you're there. hesitated for awhile and finally nudged you. after asking what you're doing, the whole conversation was practically about your friend. Yes, she needs comforting but will a little msg saying you're not going to call ,hurt? and guess what, you only msg me after midnight. never once when you're talking me, you're that awake until so late. even at times my brother could tell how sad i was yet you didn't say a word. don't you care anymore? even worse when you heard how i replied you, you couldn't even tell. my eyes were so puffy that you couldn't even tell that i cried. i even told you didn't sleep till its 2.30. i guess thats the result of being jealous. maybe i shouldnt care about such stuff anymore

My God is enough♥

2009-04-21T05:58:00.000-07:00

Today was such a bore. Left school early for weird reasons. Have you heard of itching palm which turn super red after scratching vigorously, but there were no scars found. Weird huh... Pity... I wish whatever i scratch won't leave any scars. Hmmm.Was scratching like some monkey. Couldn't even stop. ! I can't believe i had to see the doctor because of that. Haiz... Had to eat pills that will stop the itch. Hope i still can eat what i like and my feet and palm won't Itch any more. Please pray...

My mood is swinging again. I really have no idea why, just able to change mood rather drastically. I am really very sorry about that. Scold me if you want, I don't hold grudges neither would I push you aside. I just say mean when my mood is really bad, don't really mean it. My temper is also subjected to my mood. May be my head isn't working well, its been blank for quite some time except the things that will never leave. Find no reason in my doing, nothing went wrong. I guess its just me. The way i think is starting to be like only scratching the surface, with no deep thinking. Something is wrong again!!

It has been two weeks plus and finally one post. Oops. I'm really a pig. Mid -year exams are around the corner and i really wonder will i do. I guess at the rate I am going, I'm doomed ARGH!! I think I should start mugging, copy notes and practising. Plus i have this ongoing project, i really wonder how to cope. Frankly speaking, This whole year my quiet time with God is very little. Simply i just neglected Him for very long. On the outside, i go for prayer meetings, Sunday school and youth. But the only time i felt that He was there was when i will cry when i listen to His words. His words haven't been speaking to me, may be i closed my heart and shut the doors of my mind. I really wish it will be more often that i can feel his presence, closely walking with Him. Holding His hand, with nothing to fear about anything. But i will live in fear of Him. I really want to obey Him, knowing how hard is it to leave the world behind and follow Him. I guess I am really weak, the things that i think that i can do will always end up in a disaster. Even with the help of people, it may not go the way that i wanted it to. Now I can only say my source of strength is Him. But i am that dumb not to depend on Him, thinking that i can do well on my own. I do not want to learn things the hard way, but if that is his plan for me i guess i will have to be broken down in order to serve Him better.

Please pray and have faith that He will answer. That the most powerful thing is prayer. If your faith is as a mustard seed, you say to this mountain,' Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew17:20

My God is enough♥

I don't know

2009-04-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

I'm able to concentrate more on my work now, having more time to just stone at home may be the main cause. Having time on your hand is rather a good thing though. Knowing that you don't have to rush for things, but time passes rather slow that you feel like just sleeping it off. Time on the phone has been shortened for some reason. I guess its better this way, at least I can sleep early every night. The thing is, I'll just stare into space until my mind start to wander into wonderland. More time to think and daydream, more time to do revision. Did i mention that I have not studied for the mid-years? Seriously i feel like I'm really going to flunk every paper. For some reason I also don't feel anything. The stress is there but I guess, to me it just doesn't matter....

Till now, I am still able put it down, leaving it as it is. I can be angry at one point, but after awhile i find no reason to be angry in the first place. Still able to apologize repeatedly until i don't remember whose fault was it. Is it a good thing? Then again, i could just stomp off just like that and don't talk to you anymore. I won't even mention it to anyone. I guess my analogy of me being an open book turned out to be nothing at all. May be emotions are not everything that determines things. If i would just leave things like that, the sky will never brightened ever again, clouds turned grey by the day. Everything would seem so dull ,so translucent that if you go near and reach for it, it will only be....

My God is enough♥

i found the reason

2009-04-04T05:20:00.000-07:00

Everything that happen recently have been rather mundane. In the sense that there isn't really much to talk about. Its kind the reason why i haven't been updating much recently. Usually i post about stuff only when i find that there's something to say. Something that may be a milestone in my life, or maybe a step closer to walking with God. I guess sometimes the reason of posting is that I don't want my blog to be somewhere in the Internet full of information, collecting dust.

The things that I do in the past that i find no purpose in continuing, the thought of it really make me wonder why is it that i give up on things so easily. Simply saying that i really have no perseverance to do things at all, being irresponsible doing things halfway. I have never thought of it this way. I use to think that if i continue in doing, there's really no point. For example my cca, i kind of gave up on shooting. Finding no purpose in just standing there for more than an hour not moving but just shooting on this pathetic target cards with pellets. Like if you see it this way, i can guarantee you, sooner or later you would think it is absolutely boring. That is what happened to me. I kind of did that and got away with it and the excuse being I play frisbee outside school and I am participating in competition. But i wasn't all a lie, i really did play frisbee and i have participated in competitions but the main reason is that i don't want to carry on shooting anymore.

I prefer throwing and catching frisbees rather than standing in an air-conditioning room shooting some card. I could not find any purpose for God putting me there. I wasn't really good at it, i can't do anything that will glorify the Lord and its just plain boring. You can say that i sort of betrayed my team leaving them there to train with a member of the team missing. At that time i really couldn't care less. Now I have come to realise i can do much more just by standing there looking at the card, carefully adjusting myself to aim for a bull's eye. There is more to it, you really need to learn calm yourself down and being cautious about how your body sway from front to back having to balance yourself.

There is really a lot of things that i find no reason in doing them. I just want to stay at home and do nothing. And i can do that for years if i want to. But now i have finally come to realise that I am not living for myself. And that there is a purpose for everything, although with my limited knowledge i can not find any, but there is a much bigger picture that i could not see. That i should not be the one that is controlling my life but it is He that knows whats best for me. Taking care of everything, being right beside me. And greater is He in me than he that is out in the world, having me not to be afraid that I'm all alone. He is my reason to live.

Really felt God's presence today. That i could feel that He is really right there in our midst. At times, i still have my doubts that He really exists. When times are hard with all the hectic schedules, it is hard to calm yourself down and listen to His soft still voice. Maybe that's why I doubt that He is there. It is just that I could not hear and feel His presence, but definitely He is there. I know it.

I have finally found peace in Him.

My God is enough♥

many many things to do

2009-03-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

It been long since i really post a long one. I guess maybe my mind is thinking simpler nowadays. And its still in the holiday mode. Oh no!!! o.0 wait... It has been in this mode at the very beginning of the year, maybe that's the reason why i couldn't do much things in a fixed period of time. Now its the end of holidays, and the starting of mugging. I should really catch up with my work. I have been taking a break for too long already. So unable to concentrate in class, not knowing that I'm daydreaming the whole time. The weird thing is the teacher still thinks that I'm paying attention. Its like isn't it obvious that nothing that you said or shouted did not even enter my ears, with the blur look on my face like I'm somewhere in outer space. That should be easy to read, but amazingly, that's not the case. Oh wells. Maybe that will be better. Haha

Came back to school and realised that i didn't even attend any lessons yesterday. Not exactly like there's no class or I'm not in school. Its just that my A.maths teacher was not in school. At first when my class thought that she went for OBS. Super funny. Everybody was like discussing what is she going to there. Then... We found out that her dad passed away. Its really very sad. Just hope we won't piss her off making her feel even more terrible than she is now. Our Chinese teacher walked out of class today due to out attitude towards lessons and our English teacher was not even in school. So practically it did not seem that i even attended my lessons. Yesterday was seriously weird. But i manage to do quiet time that night. Not exactly wholeheartedly but i manage to concentrate on His word. I realised how much I will miss out many things, the still small voice when i don't do it. Especially when i just give Him the left-over of my time. I couldn't do that when He gave His life for me.

Had this stupid rehearsal today. It is seriously a waste of time. I don't even now i even wanted to attend. Like its for some prize-giving ceremony where "VIP"s are coming. We were asked to go up and receive the prize with their so called standard. "Firm handshake, remember to greet, no dragging of feet, no shuffling, remember to say thank you, and bow properly." The whole thing was just to do this, and it too an hour. Thank god lots of people didn't go for it. If not I really wonder what time will it end. Haha. The thing is there's another rehearsal next Thursday that's compulsory along with the whole programme. No..!

Oh wells.

My God is enough♥

Its all a lie

2009-03-20T06:48:00.001-07:00

Haven't been able to do much stuff lately. But staring into blank space has definitely been more often. In front of others, we still seem that we're okay. Still talking and stuff, being nice and all, still the same and always. But now its just different. I use to have my best friend right there to listen my complains. You have always been there. Even though its hard for you to be so concerned for the fact that everyone has been teasing you. Through all my difficult times, when i down having no one realising it, you were the one making me know that God will not let me take more than i am able to. Having come to this, i guess i could only seek the Lord. To really want to draw closer to Him rather than face difficult and lonely times on my own. That He will always be there no matter what.

Many things had happen throughout the week. Most things aren't that pleasant. It sort of gotten worse. Trying to numb all that sadness away just by doing things that will take my focus away. To really be lost somewhere rather than to think about it all the time. I have no idea why must it come to this. I have tried countless methods to try not ruin it all, even though i still have to hide it from you ,to really hurt you like that, i really have no other choice. I guess it will be better this way. I have to... It really hurts to do that to you. One day you will understand the big picture. Maybe i should have left earlier, never to come close to you. Then all this pain, i won't have to bear . Since i really left, i guess i have more things to concentrate on.

I know its my fault, like what i said i have no other choice. I guess you'll find a better friend. I'm really very sorry.

2009-03-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

Wee!! The holidays are here! Like finally after all that stress thats on me. Time to spend more time with all those i haven't been talking to. Mama, i miss you. =( But that means i will be bored at home if i don't get out of the house. Plus all that homwork is piled up on my table. And i have oral on monday. But the thought of having time to concentrate on my thoughts it scares me. I guess i have been blocking all my thoughts out for some reason. Even my emotions are running weird. Maybe its time to concentrate on what God is telling me. I have neglected Him for too long. The evil one will be happy if i drift too far, but i'm not going to let him have his way. Hope i am able to focus my thoughts and hear His still small voice. Felt quite dry ,spiritually. That explains my absent mind for this few months. My mood has been quite extreme recently. Sorry if i offended you in any way. My sincere apologies.

Being borthered by numerous things. Unable to get it off my mind. I really need someone to talk to. But once i'm in a conversation i don't rememeber what's bothering me, just trying to concentrate on the topic is about. Somebody save me!!! I guess its just that i don't ever tell anyone one.(papa, don't scold me. you lied to me too remember?)

Sort of the reason why i wrote it on the blog. I'm not able to share my troubles. At most i'll just complain. haiz...

I guess thats all i can remember.

My God is enough♥

Prayer answered!

2009-03-07T05:46:00.000-08:00

Things have been much better now. And kind of peaceful now. I really hope it stays this way. At first when facing all the obstacles that cause me to stress myself out was really too hard to bear, but now i can truly say God will not let you bear things more than what you're able to. And my prayer is answered!!! I really didn't expect it at first, usually God won't answer prayers straight away. On many occasions the answer was "wait", but this time it was really fast. Went for prayer meeting on wednesday. Had a lot of things on mind, and quite bothered by it especially my studies. Told many of my problems to petra asking her to pray for me. I told her i was really stressed out and exhausted. And I'm running out of ideas for my coursework. In addition, I have chinese test the next day. Couldn't really think as my head was clog up by my problems.

The meeting ended and took a ride from zeph. Realised that he is a very nice guy and not exactly quiet. From the time we sat in the van and all the way to my bus-stop, he didn't really stop talking. And he really speak very fast, like i couldn't even rememeber when he breathe. Haha. And that day was the only time my whole sunday school class was there. Actually only david didn't come. I wonder next time, will our class be quiet again. With only the teachers talking. Hmmm. Back to the point, I sat for chinese test with a very calm mind, not even panicking when i saw difficult words that i have never seen before. I guess i have to surrender my results to the Lord. I have done my part and I shouldn't worry at all. During dnt class, my prayer was answered the exact way petra prayed for me, that i will have an idea for the project. The word toilet struck my mind and out of the blue i have an idea. It sounds quite weird but the idea was quite cool. Shall keep it a secret unless you come and ask me personally. Haha
I'm so glad that I have a God who is enough for me. That His grace is sufficient.

Today
Slept quite late last night even though kind of quarelled with my bestie. Shall not probe on it. Intending to sleep but kx called. And we started talking nonsense like throughout the whole convo. It kind of kept me from thinking about stuff. Yep.
Woke up at 7. My eyes are bearly open. And the comfy bed was tempting. Wanted to go back to sleep so badly. But I manged to stay awake. Packed my stuff and asked my mum to give me a lift. I needed to reach VIVO like at 8.30. If i took public transport, i would be super late. Reached around 8.15. Jun qian came like half an hour later. Waited for petra until i fell asleep. =.=
So the whole morning when we're there, we studied at coffee bean without breakfast. I could literally hear my stomach growling. It was that bad. Bestie came after his training wiith all the bags and his maths file. Wanted to pass to me for me to revise. It is so thick and heavy, i wonder how he manage to carry it for so long. We studied till 2. Finally lunch can be eaten. Ate at Thai express. Quite nice though but the serving was really very small, Had to order quite a few more dishes to fill our stomach. And its time to shop! It is still my favourite. Haha
But vivo isn't really a good place to shop. Everything is so expensive. And the ambience gives me headaches. Jq left earlier though. Kind of sad. But I felt quite guilty because the whole time we are only shopping for girl's stuff. mostly shoes. Headed down to The Heren. I bought a bag which is so cheap like it is on offer. So happy! Wee! Walked around more. We went into this shop that sells crumpler bags. And there were so many pink bags. And this is what petra said,"The pink is so sad, I feel like crying." It was hilarious la. Like i coulnd't believe it came out of her mouth. She is so funny. Here's another one, "your jokes are so lame, I feel like crying". I couldn't stop laughing after that.

Had a great time today, even though the plans were changed and no frisbee. Oh wells. It was fun and funny. So going to go for more study dates with petra. Like we are able to study even though there were shops around us like everywhere. I love petra!!!

Bff, this goes to you. I'm glad that you realised that you have done wrong. Kind of sorry to be so hard on you. Although i'm kind of dissapointed in you at first, but i'm proud of you. That you didn't run away from it even though whatever questions i ask you, you only replied"i don't know". Do know that i'm always here for you. Any problems you have, i will try my best to see what i can do to help you. That is if you're not in the wrong. And remember what i've told you, cherish your girlfriend. She love you enough to forgive you of what you have done. So do treat her nicer.

My God is enough♥

2009-03-05T06:57:00.000-08:00

Still kindda tired though but feeling much better already. Yep yep. Went for prayer meeting even though i was really tired and stressed out for the upcoming tests. Have no idea why are most of my test are on thursdays. It seemed that it is preventing me from going to prayer meeting. But still, it did not affect me much like I don't really care whether i will do very badly. I just have to surrender it to him and do my part. That is if i felt like it. Haha.

2009-03-03T07:02:00.001-08:00

Now i admit I AM STRESS!!! Could not take it anymore. With all the headaches and pressure, I am really very tired. Although I don't like sleeping early, even before the sun goes down i feel like sleeping for 12 hours. Test after test, homework are given like a running tap. I can't seem to concentrate anymore. Test results are really bad this time. I just passed my DNT. How can that be!!! I use to score almost full marks. Seriously i'm lagging behind in everything. Thank God there is only 24 hours a day. If it was any longer, I will be worse. Trying to mug everyday, but i always fail. I always end up doing nothing or rather things that does not matter at all. SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! In addition, now is only the beginning of the year. How am i suppose to continue like this. My friends are also having their own problems, kind of worrying me too. I guess i need to rearrange whats more important.

My God is enough♥

2009-02-27T06:01:00.000-08:00

Another week gone, time really flies. It is hard to hold on to it and try to catch. They always say time does not wait for anyone. And now it is even faster than the time i remembered the pace. Maybe I'm just stress or something is bothering me again. This time i really have no idea. My mind is still as blank as ever, excluding all the food popping in my head. Haha

Been spacing out more often this few days, and i really look exhausted. I want naps!!! Like super long naps. My flu is back again!!! Being drenched in the rain really attracted the cold for me to catch if you know what i mean. And spamming water is so needed right now.

Wednesday

Was feeling quite high that day. Woke up rather late and felt like going back to sleep. But surprisingly in class i didn't even sleep. And there's no need of chocolates and sweets to keep me awake. Yeah for me. The day passed quickly and school ended. Went out with best friend to get his stuff. He is seriously addicted to shopping. With all the things he wants to buy i wonder when he will finish buying what he wants. I guess its my fault and now here i am complaining. haha

Headed down to Wisma to see if there's any shops that have his long sleeves. That place mostly have shops for female. Other than that its just Giordano. The place that will have his clothes without fail is only far east, again... =.= Have gone there very often, but still not bored shopping there. The things they are not really that cheap but still affordable. With only $80, he managed to buy two things. And there's no remainder to buy his dinner. Thank God girl's clothes are way cheaper. Too bad... There's a christian shop on the top flloor. And the books sold there, you don't really see it in othere shops like tecman. Or maybe it does. Haha

Bought 2 nice small cards. The picture is so nice!!! Chippy british take-away is addicting!!! Had that for lunch.

Prayer meeting was during the evening. On the way to church, I saw two rainbows top of each other. It's so nice. The first time i saw a rainbow in Singapore, and now its two!!! So pretty~

The feeling after prayer meeting was great, the same feeling after camp ends. And my memory is failing me again... Forgot a number of things to pray about. haiz...

My God is enough♥

2009-02-20T23:16:00.000-08:00

Why is it so difficult to just let things just be the way it is? That is not that easy as you think to just let it go, to really just stop for awhile and think. Not being able to ignore what is going on. Constant haunting of the matter that once you picked up and not able to ever put it down. As for your worries and woes it seems this way being the anxious way we are, but for the things He wants us to do, it is just too difficult to even start doing it. That the burden don't seem that heavy to carry, leaving it aside for the time being. Why does it have to be this way? Pain comes and repeatedly attack you causing you to fall. Thinking that you are not able to take it anymore. Giving up everything almost to the end. Its like swimming from one island to another and after three quarter, you say to yourself that its too tiring and you swim back to the island where you started.

I have been pondering on this thought for quite awhile now. Tracing back all the things that had happened, many are more important than the others. But I'm not putting the right thing or for that matter, someone above all things. In many ways, we are tempted. And only after we fall into the trap then we realised that it is actually a trap. And guiltiness soon appear. Being all sorry about it, repeating to ourselves that we'll repent. But soon we'll end up where we were before.

Being stubborn as a rock, we will take a extremely long time to change. I always end up learning things the hard way. After all the mishap then I will realise that i should have stop it at the very beginning. Or not to even start in the first place. But still lessons still have to be learnt.

My God is enough♥

absent minded AGAIN!

2009-02-19T04:00:00.000-08:00

WOW! Its been two weeks since i last posted anything, and in between i even forgot that i even have a blog. My memory is really getting worse by the day. Sigh... I am such a goldfish. And there's a reason why goldfish is used as a metaphor.

Recently it has been rather stressful in school, with numerous test to study for. And without fail, there will be homework every alternate days. In the past, homework was just a few questions. Now its project after projects, more than one worksheet that needs to be done during the weekends. And my coursework is falling back behind time, being stuck at the problem situations part. I don't even know which idea that i want to choose or even decided what i want to do.

The past few weeks have been rather 'lag' for me. I do have a lot of free time but i am still not able to get my work done on time. All the free time to stare into space for a period of time and start staring at the homework with nothing going on in my head. It is just pitch black in there. Haven't seen light in there for a very long time if you know what i mean. =p

At times i forget to bring the materials back to do my homework even after repeated reminders. That is the reason why my bag is not that heavy, and always empty handed when leaving school.

Quiet time is also forgotten frequently, God neglected. But still, He never fails to be right beside me holding me in the palm of His hand walking me through difficult times.

Today

Two test were on today, but only one done. Had this interview at primary school for EV. Practically things asked does not really have to do anything with us. Mainly was for the alumni. Frankly speaking, we are alumni "NOT". Seriously the alumni does not do anything at all except have some meetings for the sake of it. We do so much more than them. Oh wells, they have to pay a fee of $10 and usually the money contribute to fully subsidise our courses. I am truly grateful. Anyway the credit goes to us and not really to the alumni. Wee! So much for excused for Chinese test. Heard that it was very hard and mostly they told me they would fail. That is sad to hear. Geography was not that difficult.I knew roughly what was coming out so I didn't really study for it. Same goes to Chinese. I didn't really bother to even look through the idioms handbook. I am being a pig AGAIN! Oh no...

Went for prayer meeting yesterday. And before that sort of celebrated Dawn's birthday. Felt quite out of place, I didn't really know her personally. But she's nice.^^

The cake was great. It was light cheese cake with Oreo and Arabelle added crushed famous Amos cookies on top. Maybe if the base of the cake was biscuits, it will be better. The cake was rather soft though...

~Happy Birthday Dawn!!!

My God is enough♥

2009-02-06T08:03:00.000-08:00

I realized that all this while, I have been suppressing my emotions. And on my face, you will only see a smile. Have no idea why, but eventually after unfortunate things happen, it will be long forgotten. And it’s instantly, weird huh… It’s like a default mode of a camera, but this time it is my brain. That many things don’t affect me that much as it is to others. It will be rare that you will find me sad for a very long period of time. But at times, I will look like I’m on the verge of breaking down, instead of prolonging the pain inside me; I end up forgetting it AGAIN. Sometimes it annoys me, like there are things that are really important. Examples like lessons learnt even though I learn it hard way and decisions that were badly made.

In a camera, the pictures you take will be saved in a memory card. But my problems and woes are not stored in my memory but in my best friend’s head. It seems like I have a removable access memory while his is a hard disk drive. He’s such a poor thing. From the day I told him, the next day I am fine again. But the things he received from me are stored in him for a few days. And recently it has been “topsy turvy” for him. He have been feeling quite stressed out and exhausted. In a way, it is kind of my fault. I am sorry about that. This is the reason why I decided not to occupy your sleeping time and continue to suck your energy out of you. Now I sound like I am a monster. Haha. Hope you take care of yourself until one week is over. Do call, if you really need someone to talk to.

To pillow:
If you made your decision, then stick to it. Do not let things to affect you. If you keep pondering on those thoughts, it will make you think again. And that will show that before you made the decision, you did not think through it properly. May be at that moment, there are things that you don’t want to take into consideration, but for his own good. No matter what happen, I will always be there for you. And I am just a call away. Do cheer up! Today is a gift, tomorrow is a mystery. Love you

Today!
Lessons today were quite okay in a way. It was not that boring that I could just close my eyes and fall asleep. Not much work to be done during lessons but homework is going to be a BIG pile. Education really kills trees, in a way it’s killing us too. With many brain cells dying, no shade that prevent us from getting skin cancer, no fresh air and not enough oxygen to go around.
A math’s test was today after recess. I did not revise enough to prepare myself for the test. I should have started earlier, and then it will be much easier. The questions were quite tricky when you first look at it. After awhile, I find it was like going “merry-go-round.” Hope that I will not fail miserably. Even though Ms Yeo’s papers were well known to kill, I guess it only kills when you don’t study.

I went to DAILY SCOOPS with soulmate, basil and best friend. And it was all the way at clementi. The distance apart was rather long. We had to sit on the bus for more than 1 hour, SUPER numb. SALTED MR BROWN and LYCHEE MARTINI were great. Even though the salted Mr. Brown had a weird after taste, it was not that bad. Feli and basil were rather quiet, although they know each other; I guess it’s a good thing that they did not shut their mouths throughout the day there.

My God is enough ♥

2009-02-04T02:23:00.001-08:00

Finally I'm back to post again. Life has been mundane for the past few weeks. And in addition, I'm still down with a cough and sore throat. My flu got better. Thank God. If not I should be arrested for murder. I mean the trees. Haha. Guess I really need to cut down on fried food and junkies. Won't tell you guys what I ate today though. Time to spam water down my system. Have been tired for weeks already. Can't seem to wake up before 6.30. Had 5 alarms ringing every morning but I only manage to hear 2. Seriously I wonder I have selective hearing. And my memory is getting from bad to worse. At first what i couldn't remember are stuff like homework, things you don't want to remember. But now when i leave my room wanting to take something, the moment I walk out, POOF!

Had no idea what i wanted to take. Champion already.I think I will collapse sooner or later.

Hope that won't come true.

Lessons today and yesterday were rather awkward. Especially during a maths and physics. It happened yesterday during a maths class, when Ms yeo came in with a super angry face. At first she was just talking to Kris, and then some started laughing for some reason. Then she started shouting saying that some didn’t hand up their work during free period as the rest were taking DNT or art. She was utterly furious. At the moment she said that she's angry and there we were cracking jokes. I seriously went blur. There were only that few that were laughing and she just shouted she is not going to teach anymore. No more a maths forever and she just walk out like that. I couldn't believe what i was hearing. Like if there really no more a maths, what’s going to happen? I shouldn't say this but there are people in the class who seriously just didn't want to take it seriously, find it rather unfair that because of that the whole class have to suffer. >.<

For physics, it started the beginning of the year that there many that couldn't catch what the teacher was teaching. The class came up with a petition to change the teacher. One thing the teacher's English wasn't really that clear to understand and he couldn't control the class. Age is catching up on him, and I guess it hard for him too. But surprisingly I could roughly understand what he is trying to teach, but sadly for the rest it wasn't the case. There was a day when he handed us a piece of paper and he wants us to write that piece of paper took quite awhile to hand up. So today the head of science came and talked to us. In a way, he didn't sound at all authoritative. But he told us about his own experience about such teachers and wanted us to give the teacher a chance to really teach us and help us move towards the goal to get A1s. Then the teacher came in, the moment he stopped walking and stood there, he brought up the topic and said SORRY. Josie and I were stunned that we were glued to our chairs with our mouths hanging open. Felt quite sad though. It’s like we couldn't stand the way he teach and already waning to write him off, instead of being angry with us, he came in and apologized. Many must have felt a little guilty. And the expression on his face, really look like he’s trying hard and a little upset. I have never seen a teacher like him, which apologizes to the whole class just because most of us couldn’t understand what he is teaching. Most will just claim that it’s our concept of thinking and attitude towards learning. I’m glad that he’s my teacher and I hope that he will continue to be one.

Now I have no idea why I have the feeling that for many lessons, most of us are distracted and didn’t take it seriously. Maybe it’s just the beginning of the year and many haven’t settled down yet. Really pray that we as a class will strive towards the best we can do.

Had pillow, soul mate and penguin over at my place today. Feli spent most of the time sticking her eyes on the screen, barely and words came out of her mouth. Hope she’s okay. Pillow and penguin were like torturing each other. With whacks pinches and bites. Never seen such a boyfriend that bears to even hit his girlfriend. I guess maybe it’s because of a “violent” girlfriend; you’ll end up being like this. Haha. (Hope they don’t kill me for what I’ve written.) Today was also the first time that I can talk to pillow about so many things. We use to have nothing to talk about on the phone but still quite close and I have no idea how. Oh wells, she is nice to hug. And the bird that couldn’t fly accuses me of stealing his girlfriend just because of the personal message that says I love manisa. And it wasn’t even me that wrote that. It was the person he accuses me stealing. So nonsense la. I should complain it to her, see what her reaction is. Kidding.

Time to carry on learning my spelling. Hope I don’t fail miserably. It’s so hard to remember when your memory is like a goldfish. Oh well, what to do? PRAY!!!

My God is enough♥

the life revolving only me

2009-01-21T02:02:00.000-08:00

Have been a lil absent-minded nowadays, an i have no idea why either. In simple terms may be cuz my head hurt all the time even now. And it caused me to feel rather down. Not forgetting my best friend is in Malaysia the past few days.=( Maybe that explains my random replies and the awkward silence when he called. Forgetting all my homework and stuff that really needed to be done. Have been cracking my head for quite awhile, guess my illness is the main reason. In addition, it got a lil better but still having the running nose and continuous sneezing. Honestly speaking, i notice I'm living my life where it only revolves around ''me''. Not the world but the way I'm living for myself with the concept that it is ''I'' that is the reason why I'm living. And it should not be the case. Kind of explains why spiritually i feel so dry AGAIN. Nonetheless, I'm suppose to thirst for something. Something that filled my emptiness i felt inside, or you may say someone. It even overflow that i clearly remember how i should live my life.But that's not the case. Its not about me, but to glorify His name. And still, i side-tracked from His way. Haven't been doing quiet time wholeheartedly. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!! I can talk about it but not doing anything about it at all. Guess actions speak louder than words even to myself in the sense where you only talk about it and soon you'll forget all about it but with what you do, you'll clearly remember. In the same way, i can memorise God's word, after a few days, i will forget about it completely. In the same way it will only be engraved in my heart when i apply it.

I can tell others that they are going the wrong path, but i myself is sort of doing the same thing. And doubts are starting to surface. Being not able think clearly, i can't even concentrate when i pray, i could even forget that I'm praying. How bad can it get! Please pray for me and be faithful that He'll answer your prayer. Really wish i have the faith of a child, not complicating stuff over and over again. To really seek Him wholeheartedly, confess and repent on what I've done. So ashamed of what Ive become, too afraid to come before Him again. Only he can undo what I've become and turn me around to head the right way, the path He wants me to walk. And pick me up when i fall to the very bottom i can go. To really praise His name in this storm. I guess the world has nothing i need. And the things that I'm after are destroying me. To see the evil prosper when I'm struggling through. To wish that i could be like them at the expanse of my soul. But my God is enough for me. And He is the one that will provide the everything that i need.

My God is enough♥

sick till my brain slowed down

2009-01-14T01:12:00.000-08:00

Have been sick for quite a long time, like around 1 month plus? Sad to say i was sick on my birthday too. Only yesterday that i went to see the doctor, the reason is i couldn't take it anymore and people have been scolding me. But strangely i did not have any fever or throat infection. Just a bad case of flu though, but I'm feeling very cold that i have to wear a uber thick sweater and cover myself with a blanket. The doctor gave me a two MC, now the second day already i felt worse than yesterday. Have no clue why, maybe its due to lack of food consumed. I blackout and fell on the ground, my head hurt big time. Barely can see whats around me but still i was conscious enough to know what happened. My legs started shaking and it hit the kitchen door beside me. And now i have a bad bruise on my knee. Even though I felt so weak, i guess I'll get better soon with all the prayers from others. And i know my Lord will heal me and give me a speedy recovery. Just two days at home, its really boring me. I bet there's a whole pile of homework in school for me to complete.

Soulmate and joey came to look for me after school. At first soulmate called to ask whether i could go out of the house. Of course i could, just that i may faint on the way down. HAHA
She told me they have to buy something first before they come over. And they have pass me my homework. Went down and saw a purple plastic bag in her hands. I was wondering why put homework in a plastic bag. So weird...
In the end, i saw the purple bag i liked and its overpriced for that kind of size. I couldn't believe that they really bought it. Started screaming and hugged them. I asked "why didn't you just say so rather lie about passing me homework?"
She assumed that for homework i would definitely come down. How weird for an excuse. Haha
hur hur, I love you!!
same goes to you too soulmate. =)

Sunday

Happy birthday to me! =) Went to church in the morning half awake. Was sneezing continuously that my whole nose turned red. At first, everybody seems normal , just shaking my hand saying happy birthday. During Sunday school lesson, the teachers just brief us on some things. Going through what theme we will be this year. Until David had to tell its my birthday, felt so awkward. He handed me a present that was so heavy. Wonder how he was able to keep in his bag for so long, petra and yilin bought me something too. Out of the blue joey came to say happy birthday and shock my hand. But he did not stop there, he started SINGING the birthday song. Could tell he resist the laughter. It was so funny!!!!
Celebrated the January-s babies birthday. They bought a fruit cake. Then there came the cream on my face. Mama so mean..=(
Thought only she will do that, didn't expect my cousin came with more cream. That morning i smell like cream if you stand closer to me.

Then in the evening, went to find my friends after jap class which was such a bore. Headed to vivo, took a short nap on the train on the way there. Met Steven and baocheng first. Was surprised that baocheng came. Most of the time or may all the time when i was with them, he wouldn't there or he will have to leave early. He wore a shirt that has a monkey printed on it. Out of nowhere he came and told me he's not afraid of the chicken. Super random!!! The whole time he just commented on the shirt i wore. Met up with the rest and headed to the rooftop. Jas, zhiting and polien came after awhile. They came with a cake with a candles on top. They're so SWEET! LOVE YOU GUYS. here comes the cream again after they sang the song. But this time it was chocolate. They attacked me first then Steven and frank. Serve you right Steven!! Had a hard time cleaning that off. All that went, bought something for me. That's so nice of them. Went to far east plaza to shop, thomas looked for new year clothes. I was wondering why most of his shirts are either black or white. Even the ones he chose, are also almost the same gradient of colour. Bff bought the shirt that i longed for more than a month. SUPER HAPPY! Love you BFF!!!
Had dinner at soup restaurant which was located in some posh hotel. Ordered quite a few dishes. And in the end, i paid half the service charge and GST. Oh wells.

And here's the end of my birthday. Had fun and lots of love shown. Hehe
With their presents, of course. =p

My God is enough♥

2009-01-08T01:23:00.000-08:00

Soulmate came over for like a short time, even though she had to head home straight after school. Guess she's one of the ones that even though she's not allowed she won't leave me behind.So this goes out to you,Girl! I LOVE YOU! Hehe

Today's lesson was uber boring, especially the old man's lesson. The so called '' antique'' that's what i call him. His views and personal opinions are so weird. He's like belong the to tang dynasty or something. Saying that females in front of elders MUST consume their drinks to be covered or turn to the side. And that's call manners. UBER WEIRD! Its like all he talks about is his so called manners. And he was late for class today, like half a period gone. Oh well, at least i don't have to hear his guide for dummies about manners. =x

The rest of the day is really such a bore. Lessons are starting and homework is beginning to pile even though its actually very little. Like what we get for E.maths. Just 2 question, 2 parts each. And social studies HOLIDAY homework is increasing too. If you were wondering why is HOLIDAY homework piling, ponder on the thought why is it HOLIDAY homework. Its seriously getting plain very time i do the same questions over and over again until i just got tired of even lifting my pen. I think you would have guessed it correctly. YES! Its not my homework to begin with. I have people coming up to me asking me to do it for them. And i don't know i agreed, Maybe i just want them to fail the particular subject. Haha, kidding. Even if its not my motive, they would have realised if it was me that will always be doing their homework then that will happen.

After school, went for lunch at compass point for BURGER KING, again. Haha, its has always been burger king when we head to compass. Although i was sick, i guess if i don't tell them they won't notice.[best friend please don't scold me=( ] Talked nonsense the whole time. Literally we laughed out loud, they're so nonsensical. Hur hur is really full of crap. Mostly all the nonsense she talk about are so funny that i can't stop laughing. Wait, i also laughed at things that are not funny and i can't stopped either. Oh wells, its still very funny. Haha

Guess thats all i can remember what i want to say.(sorry for the bad memory i have=d)

My God is enough♥

hoping for a peace of mind

2008-12-28T01:53:00.000-08:00

It has really been a very long time since i wrote anything. But that doesn't mean there's no events that happened the past many days. Haha. Even though my memory is so bad, there's still things i can remember. Now that the year is coming to an end, i guess i need to write things for this month December. Been really lazy this month in the sense that i don't want to post about things everyday. In addition, haven't been contacting most of my friends excluding church and my GIs. Sorry if i haven't been replying you guys or answer your calls. For those out there that may come upon seeing this, i guess its time for some reflection on this year itself. I have been thinking about for quite awhile and i realised one thing. I CAN'T ORGANIZE MY TIME PROPERLY! =x

Maybe that's the reason if i cancel our dates or i always appear very busy. And now its already the last week of the year. Finished my course and waiting for my cert. And camp has past quite fast. This what happened during the two weeks that i was missing.

So here goes...

Kayaking 2 Star

It was a 3 day course. Very tiring and at the same time quite fun even though my arms were numb at the end of each day. We were at the kallang river. The water was FILTHY! At first it looked quite clean cos i don't really see black oil and dead fishes floating around like some beaches do. But the moment you get out of your boat and into the water when you capsize, you can feel the gooey substance and the horrific smell. YUCK. You can guess how many time i washed my hair when i got home. Learn new strokes that were rather challenging. The thing i love the most is Eskimo roll!!!! Argh! Almost managed to get up. Feeling down when you think about it.

It was really fun when spend time with your friends doing what you love. The GIs only meet only the end of the year unless random visits to primary school or when the snickers have competition and training then will able to see some of them. So, yeah. Love you guys. MISSES!

JUNIOR CAMP!

This year's was rather different in a way. The campsite is at a different location now that the one at sentosa is going to be demolished. Its sad when you think about it. its demolished because of the new casino coming up.We had all the space we wanted. Games could be extended all the way to the beach, not much restrictions for space. It feels like the whole camp only have us. No publicans walking in and out. We use to have treasure hunt throughout the whole sentosa. Running here and there finding the stickers, doing funny forfeits where you sing loudly to people you never seen before. And funny actions like the super heroes star jump. Oh wells. That's just memories for now. Now the camp is at salvation army somewhere in bukit timah. Our main hall is really very small. We use to have a hall that is big enough to play games. I guess I'm just too use to the old camp site. Okay enough for the so called "flaws" of he new campsite. It was rather nice. The whole we're in air conditioned corridors, dorm and hall. The beds were rather comfy, even though there's not much ventilation cos the dorm is at the basement. Weird huh...

Learnt something new during games, its called the Algorithm March. Its super nice when you have more than 10 people doing it with you. We even added each group's signature moves. Maybe we'll do it on thanksgiving again in church. Mealtimes was fine. The food were all catered, in a way its nicer i guess... The camp's theme was "Are you ready?" I was so excited for the message thinking that they will tell us about the prophesies of the Lord's second coming. Then finally realised they will only talk about how to be ready when He comes again. Guess that even scares me more that i have the thinking I'll never be ready. Had treasure hunt on bukit timah hill. We had five stations to complete. The first was to take as many picture as you can with strangers that you see around the area excluding the workers within 5 min. The rest of the stations i couldn't remember. But the only thing i know is NO MORE STICKERS to find. So miss the colourful stickers and the zoomed in photo to lead you to the station. Having clues that were usually photos or some weird riddles. Wonder how they came up with this stuff.

Left on the last to leave for Malaysia the next morning. I want to go back to camp...=(

GENTING

Didn't really look forward to this trip though. Cos i have to leave earlier. The only thing that i was excited about was the theme park and SHOPPING! And i can tell you i was not disappointed by the rides at all. The first day, reached the place rather late in the afternoon. After that Super long bus ride that cause my motion sickness. Thank God there was television to watch and my music to make me fall asleep. And we have to wait again to check in because it the festive season. The reason being that means LOOOOOOONG QUEUE. Sat at a corner doing nothing. Waited for half an hour or more i guess. Headed for dinner and time for shopping. Didn't buy much, but i did manage to find shirts that i like. Other than that we were just walking here and there. Here comes the theme park the next morning. Had pizza hut for breakfast. The first ride we took was the spinner. Didn't really want to go to thriller ones with a full stomach. I wouldn't want to end up losing my breakfast if you know what i mean. Drove the fun cart if i don't remember wrongly. The helmet was stinking up my whole head. For that ride, i didn't even use the brakes except the the part where i almost bang into others and at the end. Headed to space shot. I was shaking from head to toe when we're waiting for our turn. We sang songs on the way up. Then here comes the countdown. We counted beforehand and it took approx 13-15 sec for it to drop. The moment it dropped, i could litterally feel that my heart was in my mouth. Couldn't even make a sound until it went up again. SHOCKING! But it feels good. haha. The rest of the rides that we took were just typical when you visit the theme park. Then while waiting for cyclone, it started to dristle. After awhile it started pouring. Wanted to wait till the rain stop but soon our shoes were soaking wet. And its still raining. Went back to the hotel to dry ourselves up. Had international buffet for dinner. Quite nice other than ther super hard indian chicken. Haha

The moxt exciting thing is we went to sit on the flying coaster straight after that. The ride was HORRIFYING!!! I thought i'm going to die. Oh my.... You don't sit for it. You'll lie on your stomach!!!! The moment we go up, i saw that th next thing was to go down, I started screaming even before we went down with my eyes closed. SCARY!!!

But addicting... haha.

LOVE IT!

My God is enough♥

wild child!!!

2008-12-11T07:26:00.000-08:00

Soulmate came over today. And when she called to tell that she's leaving her house already,I'm still half awake. Sort of hanged the phone and went back to sleep. I'm really becoming such a lazy bone day by day. Don't even feel like lifting a finger to turn off the com last night. Haiz... Guess i have to snap out of it soon. Okay, i should stop side tracking. Haha.

Finally woke up after awhile, due to my grumbling stomach. No idea why was i hungry in the first place. Ate my dinner quite late in the night. Didn't know that the food can digest such a fast rate. Or maybe my mouth just want something to chew. =p(okay, now I'm spouting nonsense)

Was suppose to fetch her from the bus-stop, but ended up i went to eat my breakfast. And forgot all about it. My memory is failing me too.

She reached my place rather fast, I thought she would call again and say she got lost. Haha. Met Isaac at senkang interchange. Wanted to call and ask where was he, saw him only after i dialled his number. He was squatting there listening to his music. He told me he waited for 40 minutes squatting. I don't even know he can take it. My knees will start being sore after 5 minutes. So sorry, to let you wait for so long.=(

Had mos burger for lunch, wasn't filling at all. Sort of realised fast food don't usually fill your stomach for long and its FATTENING! Even worse, you don't get for what you pay, and its EXPENSIVE! I want home-cook food.=(

Took the bus down to north point. That place is such a bore. Nothing much to see, now that its under renovation, there is even lesser things to do there. Most of the shops there are fast food restaurants. So,ya. Went to catch a movie. Wild child!!! SUPER NICE! Poppy is so pretty,especially when with her brown hair. She really is good at acting. At the first part, she really acted like a "biatch". Towards the end, when she sort of changed into a much more humble and nice person, she really looked more decent.Haha. Correct me if I'm wrong, she really fits into her character and I really think that it was right for her to be the lead-character. Bought a large popcorn and drinks. Was sort of 20cents cheaper than the weekly combo. What do you expect? I didn't want the "yes man" Rubik's cube.

The day was fun, finally able to meet up with soulmate and isaac. Missed them so much. Love you two!♥

My God is enough♥

im still lazy...

2008-12-10T07:16:00.000-08:00

It has been quite awhile since i last post anything. Guess i really become such a lazy pig. Recently haven't being able to sleep at 10. It was all after 1. In addition, I'm sick. With dry cough and a bad headache. Oh wells, have to blame on myself not sleeping early and insufficient sleep. Not much things are going on, in actual fact. Just went to a so called "chalet" at sentosa. Last week i spent 2 days in primary school, with nothing much to do but just talk nonsense and playing games.

Last thursday and friday
Overslept that day. Was suppose to go sport climbing at yishun, but i woke up having problems with my back. Such a pity. =(
Ended up having to go for lunch. Waited for that buffoon like half an hour. He's such a slow poke. Can't take anymore, HE SUCK. And he admits it. Haha
My lunch was SPONSORED, FOR TWO DAYS. Wee!
Spent the whole time playing this FUN game. And helping miss ong to think of maths questions to put in the worksheet.
Friday, finally got to climb after so long. The feeling is nice. To be able to feel the roughness of the rock and heat of the scorching sun. Had blisters on most of my fingers after lead climbing. Then that stupid baffoon wanted to put the runner. Instead of that, he pulled and the rope dropped. Wasted my effort. =(

Darius say hi and he told me i suck.=(

Monday
Here comes the fun part. It was raining that day. There was like 10+ people sitting at the station waiting for the rest to reach. We were right in front of the passenger service counter with our big and bulky bags. Took up quite alot of space. Rather lucky cause no one came and complained. Went to harbourfront for lunch. We ordered three plates char kway tiao, two plates of nasi lemak, a plate of carrot cake. Some ate half-boiled egg. Super bloated. I couldn't even stand and walk. Headed to down sentosa.
Started playing volley ball with a line attached to the trees. Was rather a bore, couldn't really pass the ball more than three times. Then the guys started carrying the juniors and throw down the sea. It was super funny. They kept screaming like some girls. Haha. I wanted to push kuan down. But he's so fat that he didn't even budge. Ended up i was carried and thrown into the sea. He's so mean la and fat too. hehe
The rest of the girls were also carried and thrown down to the sea except ting and hyemin. Wonder what they were doing when we're playing in the sea. Hmmm...
Met mr chia at 3 plus. And headed down to the resort. We were like the only "wet and dirty" people in that resort. The scenary was AMAZING. Its really very peaceful there. Washed our sandy bodies and ran down to the pool. The resort have a POOL! And they have a some sort waterfall. They even have 2 slides that you can play with. But there was this sign beside it saying "STRICTLY FOR KIDS BELOW 10". But who cares! It was super fun!! =d
We went up to the rooms after 2 hours of soaking in the pool. My hands went so numb that even when i bite my hand, i couldn't even feel any pain. SO COLD!!
Soaked ourselves in hot water, uber comfortable. Didn't want to get out from the tub.

Went for lunch cum dinner. Ate fried rice and horfun with fried kang kong. Wasn't enough. And i'm still HUNGRY!!! Shared some duck rice with kaili and noodles with jun hao. And its still not enough. Wonder why my appetitite got better and im still hungry. =d Went to 7-eleven to get some snacks. The price there was like !@#$%
SUPER relunctant to get any stuff there. Then we realised we can go back to vivo without paying and get our stuff there which is so much cheaper. Bought quite alot of stuff at daiso. I LOVE CARAMEL CORN!! Hyemin bought some crackers and sweets. Then shen hao asked me what was atatakai. I remembered i learnt it just last sunday. But i just couldn't remember what was it. Kept repeating that word until we went giant. And all of a sudden i forgot about that word. =p
Spent quite awhile deciding on what should we buy. Bought all the junk food like cup noodles,bread,nutella,potato chips, tuna, sweets and eggs. i wonder what happen to the eggs. The moment we got back back. Everybody "spammed" the food like its been ages since they eaten. Me and kuan slept rather late, like 4/5 in the morning. In between 12 and 4, we had bread with tuna and nutella. Ate like 5 slices of bread. I'm so need to run my fats off, if not i'll end up like a fishball. Haha

The next day i woke up at 11 plus. They were so noisy. Some went for a swim at 8. Mr chia, darryl,kaili and someone else(i forgot) forfiets. The first one was licking the floor. Darrly was the one that did it. ITS DISGUSTING!!! Then the next one was to wear the underwear over your pants. Mr chia got it. It was hilarious. He looked so funny. He even posed for the photos. And it was white in colour!!!!
The last was to suck a blister. EWWW!!!! And it was darrly again. I wonder if his tongue rot. >.<

Precious, i'm so sorry. Neglected you for very long. I guess i really need time to adapt to telling everything. My brain isn't really responding to waht i wanted it to. I'm sorry i wasn't there when you needed me. Now you're attached, i guess its even harder for me to even talk to you everyday like we use to. No matter what, He'll always be there beside you. So seek Him,okay? LOVES

My God is enough♥

days i neglected you

2008-12-03T06:55:00.000-08:00

Finally!!! Home sweet home. Went to nick's chalet at Orchid country club. The rooms we sleep in were like hotel rooms! Wait.. It is sort of hotel rooms, we even had room service.=) The first day, they checked in at 2. I was super late, went for shopping with jas and the guys until late at night. Surprisingly aloy came along. Started with a random msg, then he was hungry. Oh wells, hope he's not mentally unstable again. =d

I'm really sorry to let you think more into it. Sort of understood your intentions. Do meet up often. I missed the times when we're really good friends.

SHOPPING!

Had to meet jas at amk station around 12.30. So i have to reach Alicia house quite early to put my bag with her. At last can chat with her. Found out that i was really outdated. So many thing have happened, and i have no idea about it. Bestie,I'm so sorry i wasn't there for you when you needed someone to talk to. Met up with aloy to have breakfast with him. Its so called lunch, cause it already so late in the morning. Headed to Alexa's house before eating. That stupid aloy, whatever i asked him, he only answered "ANYTHING". Then he started smiling. Like was it so amusing when my face changed? He's so mean. Took the bus down to amk. While waiting, Out of nowhere, aloy started singing lollipop by mika. ULTRA RANDOM! He sang super high pitch, sounded by some gay though. He was super high that moment. Even in the bus, he kept singing. Don't even know what happened to him. WEIRD!!

Jas and steven said they're still at yishun and will be late. So i decided BY MYSELF to go amk hub, rather than asking aloy where to go. Its a comfirm that his answer will be anthing. )=<

We practically walked the whole place without anything to do, other than him singing his lollipop and disturbing me. The whole time he was using my phone to on his song. For some reason his phone was running out of batt. Walked in and out of shops, we really had nothing to do. Even went in the arcade, walked one round and walked out. Then frank called, he wanted to ask where am i, but it wasn't me who answered the call. The first time frank called, aloy answered. He hanged the phone straight away when aloy said HELLO. The second time he called, aloy said"Can you please stop calling?!?! Wrong number, wrong number." Then he started laughing. So mean la. I think frank was rather stunned and pissed when he found out he didn't call the wrong number.

Met up with jas and steven at the station and bff at vivo. Window shopped vivo. Everything was so expensive, i don't even think i have enough money to even walk in. Haha. The guys bought their stuff at addidas. Jas wented to go vivo first to get ideas of what she wants her dress to be like. I guess she couldn't find any. We had lunch at Carl's junior. SUPER LOVES. They have like the biggest burgers and the nicest fries i know. Especailly double western bacon cheeseburger. They even have onion rings inside. Mum mumm... I'm starting to drool already. =d

Headed down to far east to shop. Shall skip all the boring parts about walking and someone having his period again.Haha.

Yeah!Me and jas bought our dress. Super happy. Was rather in a bad mood when we couldn't find anything thas nice. Our face change the moment we paid for it at the cashier. The guys walked on their own, i didn't remember they bought anything. Wonder what were they doing, when we're not with them. After that jiakit, yihui and huimin came and meet us. Had our dinner near venus. Separated into two table, They started shooting ice and some unknown things at us, Practically the floor and the tables were wet due to the "flying ice".

CHALET

Reached there rather late. After they ate their dinner then i arrived. Cabbed in from north point. Had darius to wait for me and he paid for the fare. He's so nice.=) Had to buy whipped cream for nick's birthday. Nick, i'm so sorry. I lied that i won't be doing anything to you on your birthday.=(

The first night, played WII! The guitar was rather hard to play. I guess i couldn't differentciate what to press. Haha. Practically the rest of the night we're watching movies from my laptop.

Second day

Slept at 5 in the morning. I was super tired, now my eye rings are like panda's. Didn't sleep on the bed, but on the sofa. The rest was in the room, shirley slept in the master's room with the whole bed to herself. Haha. Don't know why daijin,polien and alicia cramped in the other room. I guess it was more cozy.=d

Had lunch at this cafe, the food there were EXTREMELY expensive. Nick was like charge it to my card. He paid like everything la. I feel so guilty. Ate something called the country's chicken. Was rather nice, the plate had steamed vegetables and potato wedges and of course CHICKEN. Isaac ate something called silver fish fried rice. Didn't see anything fish in it but i only saw prawns. Wonder whether the fishes were eaten by the prawns. I thought its suppose to be the other way.=)

Wanted to go paintball, but i didn;t bring any shoes. But then again, i was too lazy to even move from my positions. They came back rather fast. Tsern ting said it was really fun. Then she started to laugh. SHE LIED!! We were all under-age, so couldn't even step in. Then the rest of the girls went for a swim, the guys went to play lan. While tsern ting,syaff,aqillah,amelia,isaac and me went to bowl. Ting was super pro at it, isaac sucked. Haha

That night everybody turned in rether early. Kang xuan,darius,kokhwee,elisha,freddy and me played dare and dare. Was stupid la, made to do random stuff. The most funny one was kokhwee he sort of stripped and danced. He even did it twice. We all laughed like mad. Had to wake the rest up to do the dare. Haha. sorry,we were forced to do so.

Chalet was ULTRA DUPER fun even though we had nothing much to do. I guess we really catched up with each other. Wonder how is it going to be like next year. Oh wells, thats all i can remember. Had to learn how to sleep early, if not i don't know what will happen to my eye rings haha

My God is enough♥

Sing!

2008-11-30T08:02:00.000-08:00

Singspiration! Its my favourite program in church. Other than camps and youth outings. We sort of sing throughout the whole 1 hour plus. And the songs presented, usually are more modern(in that sense where it was not from the red hymn book and what the youths usually listen to) I really felt God's presence there, when i could really remember the time He touched my heart. And you really feel like just singing for Him. Every verse really portray God's greatness along with His grace and love. Mostly the songs we sang, are really very meaningful. It kept me thinking what I've been doing nowadays, so drifted. Now that what i really desired for is to be even closer to Him. That I'll really stand firm in the Lord.
Now He's second coming is real soon. Each time i read the Revelations, its really terrifying. In a way, the things that will take place are already so scary, adding on the things that already happened. The language used is so confusing that you feel like you just went on a ride on the merry-go-round(if you know what i mean). Simply saying its like metaphors. I really pray that more will come and believe and know how much He love you that he suffered and died and rose up again on the third day. ♥

Before i could go for the gospel service, i had to leave for my test. The test was like even easier than what i had to swim during lessons. Finished all the requirements in less than half an hour. IT WAS SUPER DUPER EASY!!! Head back to church thinking there will be rehearsals. until i reached there, there wasn't any to begin with. SADDENING. That means i have to go for lunch and jap class. Talk about jap class, it really use to be easy, that you don't really have to memorize much. Now i went a level higher, its beginning to be such a bore to go for it until today. Like finally i could really understand what is the sensei is saying. Its quite fun actually, if you pay attention. But I don't know how I fell asleep. The last thing i remember, i was day-dreaming. And ta-DA, i fell asleep. I guess i was really exhausted. Slept real little and had to wake up early. But then again, maybe i didn't eat enough lunch to keep me going. Haha
Here comes the so called 5km run. This time i really had to stretch, if i don't want cramps that lead me to a case whereby i even have difficulty in going down the stairs. Previously it was that bad that i couldn't even walk properly. I was called lousy just because i need to stretch, like hello!!! I'm not that kind that run much.=( Didn't whine much either , although i slowed down quite a number of times. I really tried to run at a faster pace. But then again they were really fast. The moment i slowed down, their backs gets smaller. Oh wells. This time round, we took the longer route that means we ran so much more than just 5km. So happy. And now gladly to say, NO CRAMPS!! Wee! And the same thing goes, legs not able to stop on its own. You guys should try it. ITS FUN! =d

My God is enough♥

funny days

2008-11-29T08:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday

Woke up super late that day. I set more than 4 alarms, but didn't hear any of it ring. I guess i slept like a dead person. haha. The first thing i saw when i woke up was my phone bombarded with messages. Even worse i also don't remember hearing it ring. WEIRD! (maybe i was too tired) Went to have lunch with jas, steven, franklin, yu xiang and jj. Actually we're suppose to go for the buffet at Suki sushi, but we ended up at the Cathay eating astons. So sad.(but at least i didn't have to spend much) Ordered fried fish with 2 side dishes and beef bolognese along with the soup of the day. Goodness gracious, i couldn't even finish it. So i started feeding everybody with huge chunks of fried fish. I think i only ate like less than half and the rest were on their plates.Haha. Went to walk around the cathay, and they started walking to the shop that has this book that's so called "POSITIONS OF THE YEAR". It disgust me, seriously. I don't even understand what is so nice about it. Like eww!!!
Decided to go suntec after discussing for very long whether we'll be going all the way to clementi to eat daily scoops or otherwise. I WANT TO EAT SALTED MRBROWN!!! =(
I can assure you after going to suntec so many time , you'll be bored of it even when you hear the word "suntec", seriously. Even worse, the guys wanted to go to the arcade. BORING!!! Me and jas was like "don't want to go, nothing to do". So time for... SHOPPING!=)
We bought this dress that is super nice, i'm SUPER HAPPY cos i don't have to touch my wallet. Steven and franklin bought it for my belated birthday. =d
And the shop sold the earrings for ONLY $1!!!! UBER CHEAP
I LOVE going out with them AND INCLUDING JASMINE!! Its really nice to shop with her. Any kind of clothes also can find. Haha. LOVE YOU SWEETIE!♥
I'm looking forward to Monday.

But then again, when we wanted to bus-ed back to kovan, we ended up waiting for the bus like more than a hour! Its like WHAT THE!!!!! Ended up cabbing there. The moment we reached the place, we saw the bus. The guys were like shouting at the bus driver, when the uncle won't be hearing anything. Random people. Haha. By the way, punggol nasi lemak centre has nice things to eat. =) And my dinner was sponsored. Haha. OWNED!

Today

Was forced to wake up early today even though i slept super late, can consider it in the morning already. Cause my mum came lie on top of me! I was like cannot breathe at all. She seriously put her whole weight on me, I have no idea why. We planned to go Safra Country Club in the morning, but we went to Charles and Keith warehouse sale first. Its was really crowded, we even have to queue just to go in. And it was super long. Then again " No pain, no gain. That was exactly what jarvis said when we're queuing up to go in. The things there, were seriously cheaper like around 50% off. I bought a pair of poka dots heels, SUPER ADORABLE! In addition, you even need to queue to pay. =( Oh wells, its Charles and Keith. What to expect?
Went to Safra Country Club, when we got out of the car, taking all the stuff along, my aunt realised that she forgot to bring her stuff. Like after so long then she realised, at that moment it was hilarious! Practically, was in the pool from 11-2pm. Now I'm like reddish-brown in colour. Wee!
Franklin called me out of the blue asking whether i would want to go queensway with them to buy their shoes. So met him opposite school's bus stop, waited for the two slow-pokes to come. Jj went back home to change his footwear, bff went to accompany him. They were like taking super long, we called them and they told us they're on the way. We called again to tell them to bring cards, and they said okay, bring already. Like obviously, they're still at his house, WEIRD!!
W sat 147 like one hour plus, my butt's hurting. =(
Played black jack throughout the whole journey, kind of. Haha
Super tired, slept halfway. Bought their shoes and we headed for lunch. All of them ate curry chicken with rice, left only me eating laksa. The curry was THICK. Was rather cheap though, but the rice amount was little.
Surprisingly jj has to collect a prize at Clarke quay. LIKE WOW! That's the first time for a sotong like him. =p
On the way there, we got stuck at a traffic jam. But he got second prize, and his workpiece is nice. Anyways if I don't remember wrongly he didn't do it entirely himself. But then again, my memory is blur..
oh wells. Today was eventful. I want to go Clarke quay again, the decorations are nice. =)

My God is enough♥

Super Bored

2008-11-27T09:44:00.000-08:00

Today was such a bore. At least it was only after my kayaking practice and lunch at Changi village. Woke up super early this morning, was almost late for the time to meet. It was until ting ting called me then i finally could wake up despite the many alarms i set. Like 4 alarms. All rang, but i don't remember turning it off. WEIRD!!! This morning current's was SUPER STRONG, and we're going against it. So sad.=( Other than that, it was still okay, i guess. And i can't paddle straight!!! I'm like going round in circles, like 360 degrees. Even worse, there were big ships passing by causing big waves. We almost capsized. Haha. So fun.(THE WATER IS SALTY!) The other two at the back were like super far away from us. They said they were pulled by this "fishing line" that was moving super fast. But its against the current, how to be so fast. so weird... We went on shore and left the kayaks there and jumped into the water. Tried to push kuan liang into the water, but i failed. He's so heavy. Then out of the blue, he and marcus carried me and threw me into the water. So mean! Tried to shake them off, but was rather lazy to move. So,ya. Haha. Then we decided to do the same thing to ting, but the guys were so pathetic. They didn't even manage to carry her. Haha

Had lunch at CHANGI VILLAGE! WEE! I like gobbled three meals into my mouth. Its really been quite awhile since i ate that much. Had horfun with chicken chop, carrot cake, fried wanton and fried oyster. SUPER BLOATED. I couldn't even see my toes. haha. KIDDING! So practically, the rest of the day was a bore. Went marcus house to play cards. While watching tv, i fell asleep sitting up straight. UBER TIRED!
Then BFF msg me to go 653. Sat there and sort of "rotted" while watching them play. Went to buangkok and ate dinner. In any ways, i'm still tired. haiz...

My God is enough♥

Psalm 73

2008-11-27T09:22:00.000-08:00

Psalm 73

I've had enough of living life for only me
And reaching just for the things that keep destroying me
So sick of envying the lives of so many I see
Somehow believing that they have what I need

[Chorus:]
My God's enough for me
This world has nothing I need
In this whole life I've seen
My God's enough, enough for me
I can't explain why I suffer though I live for You
Those who deny You they have it better than I do
Cover my eyes now so that my heart can finally see
That in the end only You mean anything

Who have I in heaven but You
Nothing I desire but You
My heart may fail but not You
You are mine forever

~ Barlow Girl

i felt so dry

2008-11-26T10:20:00.000-08:00

In a world where wrong seems right and right seems wrong, you just become so confused in any situation that you're in. Not being able to decide what will be the right thing to do. The world's morals now really contradicts God's word, its really hard for you to follow God's ways if you don't fear Him. And soon you'll backslide from Him. The doubts about His existence start to surface. I guess no matter what you've done, God will still love you. Depending on my own strength to live my days through the week. It feels so limited, so little strength i have. And the void in my heart just couldn't be filled up. So empty it is. I went around to find the pieces to occupy the space, like friends, hobbies and stuff like that. But then again, there's still spaces that just couldn't be filled no matter what I tried to put in. My search in that sense was still in vain. The longing in me wanted so much to be fulfilled. Now i finally found the one who filled my heart to the brim and even overflowing. One who i know is there for me whenever I'm in need, the one who will deliver me through every difficulties and obstacles i face. The one who picks me up when I'm already at the bottom of the pit. Who ever so loved me unconditionally.♥

Today was rather tiring. Had a VERY BAD cold with swollen eyes. I have no idea what happened. I guess it was the dog fur at my cousin's house. They were like running all over the place, as in litterally. So practically I'm at my cousin's house almost the whole day. It was such a bore. Didn't have much things to do, couldn't use the computer. The modem has problems. But I'm still clueless why jarvis had to lie that the computer spoilt. The computer have no problems AT ALL! He's such a weird guy.I don’t even know what’s wrong with him. In the evening it rained, as usual. I have no idea why does it have to rain now.. I want to jog!!! =( And phenie isn’t home yet. She’s so mean. Left me alone with her weird brother. By the time she came back home, it was already quite dark. That means we can’t jog at punggol end cause the ground is wet and its already so dark. Oh wells, guess running on the pavement will do.Anyways she is some sort like her brother too. WEIRD PEOPLE!! The moment she came back home, she told me she bought this dress for some event. SO RANDOM!!! The instant I start jogging(real slow), my blister started to hurt, A LOT. Even worse I had a running nose, and the wind was blowing very strong. At the end, I was panting like some person who is having a asthma attack, in addition, my legs couldn’t stop moving. But then again, I was glad I went down to jog. At least I could lose some fats. =d

Andrew was UBER funny today. He asked me whether my house was raining. I was like, i'm indoors, how to "RAIN"?!?!?! I guess his expression was like this>>> (-.-)"

I guess i need to turn in earlier than usual. I still have my kayaking practice tomorrow. ARGH!! I'm so going to faint from exhaustion. By the way, Alexa I'm so sorry. Couldn't catch the movie with you tomorrow. =( I will go with you another day,okay? Anyways you still have the guys, so ya. =d

My God is enough♥

undo

2008-11-26T06:16:00.000-08:00

Undo

I've been here before
Now, here i am again
Standing at the door
Praying You'll let me back in

To label me
A prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who i've been known to be

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what i've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, i need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one
Who can undo what i've become

I focused on the score
But I could never win
Trying to ignore
A life of hiding my sin

To label me
A hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who i've been known to be

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what i've been known to be
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need you, i need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one
Who can undo what i've become

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what i've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need you, I need your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
You're the only one who can undo
You're the only one who can undo
What i've become

~Rush of fools

Once was lost but now am found

2008-11-25T01:15:00.000-08:00

When things don't go the way you wanted it, you'll be trying so hard to fix it. Thinking of ways to make it better, but i guess God has planned it all for you even way before you were born. All i have to do, is make the right choices the way that is right and acceptable in His eyes. Thats why i surrendered everything to Him. Nothing to worry about, because i'll always know He's there right beside me. The tears i shed, the fear i've to face, He felt it all. Everything that happened, He knows the truth. He is the truth. All the ups and downs i faced that seem too much to bear, but its so far fetched from what He had sufferred. He faced the rejection of the whole world, but yet He was obedient all the way even to death. He sufffered and died for me, for all of us. Just to bring us back to heaven to be with Him. All you have to do is just believe, and you'll be saved. But i don't understand why is it so difficult for some. Others question how can it be possible, how can it be so simple. But it is that simple, yet they choose the harder way to salvation. Now i only can say, i choose to believe in a living God. That knows all the knowledge in the world and have a much higher level of understanding that is not known to mankind, and even knows my name. He really love all of us. That He sent His only begotten Son to die for us to give us eternal life.♥

I can assure you jogging 5km non-stop isn't easy, especially when you're lazy and have no stamina at all like me. Ran with my cousin last sunday at punggol end, it was UBER fun. The fun part only came when it ends and you just feel that your legs just can't stop jogging. Haha. Felt so refreshed after jogging. The scenery was so SPECTACULAR, it really protrays how great is the creator. It refreshes and clears your mind, and FINALLY i could feel that i could actually think straight. It feels like all your worries disappear into thin air. Maybe one day you shuld try. And now i'm sort of addicted to it, even though i had blisters at the end. Jogging again tomorrow, hope could lose the weight i gain the past few months. I seriously need to cut down on my intake, like at least half. Now my legs are really have cramps, plus that blister, i'm starting to walk funny. Haha. Recently, almost everyday i AT LEAST have one injury. I guess i'm really very clumsy, even when i walk i could actually trip over my own leg, thank God i didn't fall on the floor. ><

Soulmate came my place today. She's like always not hungry. Couldn't eat lunch with her. I'm like starving for quite awhile already. Couldn't help it, have to ask for delivery. So money consuming. But oh wells, at least there's food. (steven if you see this and say something about it, you'll get it from me) While mum mumm-ing, soulmate sort of stuck her face on the screen of the computer until i told her to eat her ice-cream. Then now she wants to complain. haiz... so ''soulmate''. haha(beware of her stare, its scary) She is really one of the bestest friend that i ever could have. Always there for me, even she herself was feeling down. I LOVE YOU, SOULMATE!! Even though i'm cold towards you at times, don't feel down,okay? Stop thinking that i'm angry, unless you start slicing your wrist, what can i say? You're my soulmate.haha.

Cheer up,okay? Time will reveal the truth. And God will show you His ways. So, ya.

Okay, got to run. Soulmate is pushing. And she went to rub my BLISTER!!! I'm in pain ><
and i still need to send her off with my awful ''NOT'' painful leg. =(

My God is enough♥