Friday, March 20, 2009  6:48 AM
Its all a lie
Haven't been able to do much stuff lately. But staring into blank space has definitely been more often. In front of others, we still seem that we're okay. Still talking and stuff, being nice and all, still the same and always. But now its just different. I use to have my best friend right there to listen my complains. You have always been there. Even though its hard for you to be so concerned for the fact that everyone has been teasing you. Through all my difficult times, when i down having no one realising it, you were the one making me know that God will not let me take more than i am able to. Having come to this, i guess i could only seek the Lord. To really want to draw closer to Him rather than face difficult and lonely times on my own. That He will always be there no matter what. Many things had happen throughout the week. Most things aren't that pleasant. It sort of gotten worse. Trying to numb all that sadness away just by doing things that will take my focus away. To really be lost somewhere rather than to think about it all the time. I have no idea why must it come to this. I have tried countless methods to try not ruin it all, even though i still have to hide it from you ,to really hurt you like that, i really have no other choice. I guess it will be better this way. I have to... It really hurts to do that to you. One day you will understand the big picture. Maybe i should have left earlier, never to come close to you. Then all this pain, i won't have to bear . Since i really left, i guess i have more things to concentrate on. I know its my fault, like what i said i have no other choice. I guess you'll find a better friend. I'm really very sorry.